Second post for today......
well, so I screwed up
Had an app't today at 2, and next friday at 4. Entered the 4 oclock appt in my calendar and showed up at the Dr office at 4. Bummed, I really needed this today.
On the positive side-- I have an app't monday for a screen towards a coed DBT skills Group.
If all works out well, I can start in the group on thursday or the next thursday (if not it may be 6 weeks... yikes)
I feel like a piece of crap for missing my app't today and like a more overarching piece of crap for allowing myself to screw up the most important thing in my life (marriage)
Having a lot of anxious feelings today and a restless mind. Not much of self destructiveness or impulsiveness.
A never called me yesterday, which is ok. I sent her a txt msg last night "Hope you had a great day etc"
I get worried when I don't hear back from her. I know it's the bpd stuff making me ponder all kinds of stupid stuff. Rationally-- i think I am ok. It's her prerogative whether or not to get or be in touch with me. She needs time and space. I accept that .
I have a lot to do around the house. UGH.
Loneliness is a problem heading into the weekends-- main time I got to spend with her when she was here. Now not much of anyone but me and the dogs. Fucking lonely in this house.