this is lifted out of an email I was sending in response to a friend, thought it might be pertinent:

well I hardly know anyone up here; but when i can I hang out with friends.... been doing about half a benadryl to sleep some nights. I have 2 of the three dogs, so I have to keep it together to take care of them. They like to sleep in the bed, so that's pretty nice to at least have a lifeform next to you. I am seeing a therapist already and may start a group therapy thing (not really for the marriage stuff, but it is related)I quit drinking and other intoxicants almost 6 years ago and ain't going back to that (i would certainly die if i did).I still talk to her everyday... she really doesn't know what she's doing or thinking as far as i can tell. Being up here and so isolated messed both of us up and got things to an unhealthy place. I am trying to focus on fixing my shit. That's really all I can do. And I have been praying.
I have to control my self destructive impulses, that's the main deal. they hit from various directions and are a pain in the butt. I ran up a credit card pretty fast (new Xbox, books, movies some clothes etc) but am slowing down on it now. I am starving for physical human contact up here. Not necessarily sex, just caring touch and contact.